A 'NORMAL' Day Through My Eyes
by Junsei Hyakuhei
Summary: changes changes everywhere but no new chapter yet................. okay really nly changes in a few strategic places but you'll have to go and read the whole story again now anywayz..
1. evil purple monkeys invade my brain

A 'NORMAL' Day through My Eyes

Disclaimer: this is my life! If you don't believe me I don't care! The names have been changed to protect the 'innocent' and the stupid. Please review this!!

Evil purple monkeys begin cackling! They are cackling at a girl, she's 15 and about 5'8" . she is in her pajamas laying in an oversized bed with silk sheets and a canopy top. She has got the covers pulled up over her head and two pillows pressed over her ears. The evil purple monkeys seem to be gathered around her. They have been completely trashing the luxurious room since about 5:45 AM! You can tell the girl is obviously not pleased with their behavior! In the background you can hear that one particularly evil monkey has picked up her guitar and began 'playing' it in an attempt to get the girl out of the bed (it's not really working!!!!!!!!). then they decided to do something unspeakably evil thing and turn on three halogen lamps( you know like the lights at school except more intense because they didn't have shades!!).

"Why the hell did I hire you idiots?! I know it wasn't for my own enjoyment" she comments rather moodily. "Did you fix my breakfast?(dead silence ensues…) why do I even ask?" she mumbles sarcastically.

"Master we woke you up just as you commanded us to!" said one of the more intelligent monkeys. "isn't that what you wanted?"

"Yes! But I meant for you to wake me in a pleasant manor without trashing everything in the room!!!" she hollers as she looks around **it's impossible to find good henchmen these days!!**. "And when I say wake up it is to be assumed that vast amounts of caffeine will be involved!! So, WHERE THE HELL IS MY COFFEE???" she screams angrily obviously not a morning person.

"New rule, all of you are dust unless I have coffee within the next five seconds!!!!!!!" coffee instantaneously appears in her hand.

"Oh well, you are still dust! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Now line up against that wall!" as she says this a tiny ki blast begins to form in her hands!! "Now which of you purple bakas crashed my car into that turnpike??" a small non descript purple monkey steps hesitantly forward.

"I appreciate you honesty, so I'll give you a choice, you can die with no torture, minimal torture, or everlasting torture?" five seconds elapse as the monkey considers.

"Oops, you took too long! Say bye bye!!" she smiles cruelly as she looses her first blast for the day.

"Next! You, you there with the hat" she motions to one of the monkeys "your turn." She blasts him to dust.

"Okay I'll let one of you live if you can located my new shoes, now!" the most intelligent of the monkeys steps forward holding her new suede boots with the leather fringe. "Put them over there!" It puts them down and as he steps away she blasts him. All of the others begin to look around "I didn't say which one!!            MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"

"You all begin to bore me! Goodbye!!" she throws a blast that vaporizes them all.

"You said you would spare one of them.." says Lump who had been hiding in her room for the past three days. He begins to slowly saunter out of his corner, he had gone unnoticed by anyone for the past two hours and had finally decided that it was time for a restroom break. He had been sitting in that corner with some Pepsi Blue® and his bong for the past two and a half days. The guitar 'music' had probably shredded his last nerve. You could tell by the look in his eyes that he was really wasted. In all the five years she had known him she had never seen him when he wasn't stoned out of his mind. It never ceased to amaze her that he could get that bombed and never pass out.

"I lied! OBVIOUSLY!!! And that is not the proper respect you owe me!!" she exclaimed readying a ki blast.

"I apologize, oh DARK LORD OF ALL DARKNESS!!" he exclaimed with all sincerity and fear. Last time she said that she had smashed his bong into smithereens and at this point he couldn't afford another one.

 Well what do you think?? It will definitely get better from here so don't worry!! Review me!!!!!!


	2. kitty litter

Chapter 2: kitty litter 

By: sefpyro©®™

Disclaimer: this is mine if you steal it you must be a very sad and lonely person!!! Names have been changed to protect the stupid and 'innocent' (yah right!!!!)

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"Better. Now did you feed 'Vegeta'?" Vegeta, who had happened to have been outside the door when she asked, decided to pick that moment to make his presence known. Vegeta was very unusual creature, he was, in theory a griffon, but in reality he was only about a foot and a half tall. He had wings growing out of his shoulders, and his wingspan was about two feet, so he was capable of flight, but other than that his features were dominantly feline. He didn't have a beak, which in itself was a rarity, but that wasn't all that was different. His entire body (with the exception of his wings) was covered with black and brown fur. In fact if it weren't for the wings he would just look like a large tabby cat, he even had white markings from his nose to his chest, and his feet were white. He was quite intelligent and hated being kept waiting.

"Wasn't someone supposed to feed me by now?" he said in more a demand than question. 

"There you are, you big fur ball, we were just talking about you!" she exclaimed mockingly.

"Very funny you evil witch." He said while trying to pry the lid of a can of cat food with his 'claws' "You know you're going be late, and you know how they make you scan your ID if your late at the asylum of evil torture college preparatory (this is where the evil Dark lord of all Darkness went to school during the day, she had gotten to this advanced school of torture by taking thousands of standardized tests and for excelling at the art of evil torture) !!!" Vegeta commented, still attempting to open the can, and as of yet quite unsuccessful.

"Don't make fun of her! If she gets mad and blows up my bong then I won't feed you ever again." Lump declared with all seriousness.

"Oh crap, I took to long killing the servants!! Now I'm gonna have to get new servants and fly to school!! I hate that! Evil henchmen that don't charge by the hour are hard to find! And traffic's gonna be a bitch today since the Super-bowl was yesterday! Maybe I can catch up with the bus and ride on top then I'll have an excuse if the bus is late! But then I'll have to sit there in the cold and wait for my other bus at the other bus stop, that really sucks!" 

"Damn it! I broke a claw." Vegeta exclaimed, not really paying attention to Lump, who had been hovering overhim in a threatening manor. He was just about to hit him with a large frying pan, just then vegeta moved pushing the can to Sefpyro (S'E'F'- pyro) with his paw.

"Can you please open this for me, I pulled the stupid cap offand I definitely can't operate the can opener" he ended with "Oh, Dark Lord of all Darkness!" knowing that she responded best to blind obedience and flattery.

She knew he was attempting to manipulate her and she wanted a little revenge for his condescending little late speech and about missing the morning bus "okay" she said as she began using her eye laser technique to cut the can in half " there! Watch out for the edges, we don't want you to cut yourself!" she said in her most mocking tone.

He didn't care what she was saying, he was so busy stuffing his face with food.

Rolling her eyes she busily started throwing shit into her book bag and changing clothes, regardless of Vegeta and Lump, who had just noticed what she was doing and had begun to blush furiously and look around nervously. Lump had begun pretending to look for his bong and Vegeta had just buried his face in his food regardless of the can edges. When she finished she started putting on her bracelets; a set of seven black beaded strings, which were so big that she had to wrap them twice around her wrist; and her favorite ring ; a thick silver band with small indentations in it, she wore it on her pinky just for the effect.

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well what did you think??? Review me please!!!!!! I am a very special author!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also: HAZZUH


	3. Smashing Evil Bus Riders

Smashing Evil Bus Riders

By:

Sefpyro©®™

Disclaimer: don't make me throw Hamtaro at you !!! this is my story!! If you think otherwise then go suck a log!!!

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"Out of here you jackasses!" she said clearing them from the room and bolting the door behind them! "Damn no time to stop at waffle house! I'm never gonna make that bus unless it's really, really, really late! She slipped her keys and a small wrapped package into her bag. She quickly made sure she had everything and she unbolted the door (A/N: :it was shielded so she couldn't instant transmission in or out) ran out and bolted the door back.

She knew there was really very little chance of her catching the bus so she decided to instant transmission to the bus, the only problem was if anyone was sitting in her seat they were gonna get crushed literally by her book bag which weighed 400lbs. because of her weight training gear (also known as books). She didn't really care she'd crushed about 20 people so far this year and it didn't bother her past that she had to clean her bok bag again after it happened.

She popped into the seat knowing that she had just crushed someone. "So Kara (fake name), who did I get that time?" She asked the girl sitting across from her. Kara was about  five foot nine and had dark brown hair and eyes, she wore glasses and always carried around a huge book bag that weighed about 50 lbs.(the only reason Sefpyro's was so heavy was that she hadn't been to her locker in months and had in fact forgotten where it was!) she was pretty smart although she apparently sucked at history. She was often late and seemed like the kind of person who would wear a pocket protector (though she wouldn't be caught dead in one). She had braces, but she wasn't at all self conscious about them. She was cool in her own way.

"It's a good day now! You crushed David (fake name) so all is right with the world!!" they both rejoiced knowing now they would never see the dreaded David again!!

"Yeah, yey!!" they both chanted in unison, with an almost hypnotic rhythm.

"Now if tomorrow you can get Samantha (fake name), all will be right with the universe!!" Kara told Sefpyro with hope in her voice. 

"Okay but your cleaning my book bag this time! I hate that, and I killed those stupid purple monkeys this morning so now I need to find new henchmen (or women) or to be politically correct, henchperson (s).

"Hey speaking of your book bag, why is it purple?" Kara asked.

"Damn it, I must have gotten henchperson on it!! What the hell am I gonna do with a purple book bag?!?!?(those of you who know me see how this is ironic!! Mwahahahahaaaaaa!!!!!!) Oh well, I'll just have to get a new one." She began deciding what type of book bag she should get this time.

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HUZZAH!!! Mwahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you have liked this insane journey through my mind so far!! And please review me!!!!!!!!!!!


	4. Drugged White Siberian Tigers, Ninjas, G...

Chapter 4

Drugged White Siberian Tigers, Ninjas, Griffons and Death by Ham

By :

SEFpyro©®™

Disclaimer: these characters all consented to be in this story, and for some odd reason beyond my understanding, this is how they really see themselves!! They picked what they wanted to do in the story and these are the characters they made of themselves. I cannot be held legally responsible for the sanity of my characters!! Also if you don't believe me then you can go find a desk and suck it!!

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It went on this way for quite some time until the old smelly broken-down bus finally reached its destination. The school was very unusual; it had the most descriptive name for what it was. The outside of the asylum of evil torture college preparatory high school was very much like a prison. It was a two- story building that gave an onlooker the creeps. It looked very bleak, this impression was accentuated by the dead trees and rank grass that surrounded the campus. It was surrounded on all sides by sixty-foot tall barbed wire fences. The inside was just as dismal, it was an unusual color gray that made everyone and everything that set foot inside it's halls look pale and washed out.

It's occupants were…well you'll see!!

Sefpyro walked in knowing she was about to be surrounded by some of the most bizarre creatures on the face of the planet. She thought to herself **oh god, not again! Make it stop! If I have to put up with that drugged up White Siberian Tiger who's stalking that stupid ninja, once more, I might rip out her tail and strangle her with it!!**. Just as she thought this to herself, who should jump out at her but the heroine addicted tiger herself. 

"Hey Sefpyro have you seen Daniel anywhere have you??" she asked while sniffing the air. "I smell him around here somewhere but he keeps giving me the slip!" she said in a rather disappointed tone.

"Onna if you don't stop chasing that damn deranged ninja around real soon I might get you sent back to the dungeon!" Sefpyro threatened in her most menacing tone. ** if I have to put up with another minute of that I might have to kill myself.

"Not again! Last time they tied me up and made me perform magic tricks for Seigfried and Roy!" Onna screamed reliving the traumatizing experience. 

(begin Onna dream sequence) "What are you doing to Seigfried? Why are you naked? What are you doing with that wand?" Onna remembers saying as she watched on in terror. (end dream sequence). Onna had been mumbling aloud for a while now, but Sefpyro had given up on any semi-intelligent conversation with the nutty tiger. Sefpyro was focusing all of her immediate attention on telepathically warning the ninja. **^^ Run Daniel! This should keep her distracted for a while but I think she's coming out of it^^**. Sefpyro had been aware of the ninja's plight for quite some time and was extremely sympathetic.

**-- how the fuck did you know I was here?--** he thought somewhat dumbfounded.

**^^because I can still see your arm! If your gonna hide at least pay attention to what your doing!!^^** she thought as she watched the arm vanish before her eyes. **man it's creepy when he does that!** she thought to her self.

Onna finally came back to herself (if not reality!!), fortunately she was for some unknown reason, completely oblivious to Sefpyro's mind-speaking abilities. "Hey, why is your book bag moving?" she asked as she began sniffing the air again, in her attempt to locate the ninja. "I know he's here somewhere!"

"what are you talking about my book bag?" she took off her book bag and began to examine it carefully. It was in fact moving. "Anyway," Sefpyro started feeling a little sadistic. "why don't you try down that hall?" she asked knowing that Daniel the moron ninja had just escaped in that direction.

"I tink I already looked there!" Onna said in a somewhat desperate tone. 

**damn, that would have been hilarious** Sefpyro thought, as Onna ran off in a hurry and accidentally ran into the stairs while she was sniffing for her ninja prey.

Sefpyro opened her book bag and looked inside to find the most hilarious and disturbing thing ever. She saw Sakori crammed in her book bag trying to get plastered on crack laced donuts. Sakori was also a griffon. She looked almost exactly like Vegeta except she was nearly twice his height his size and her body was completely black with the exception of her paws and nose. 


	5. Bloody Hell!

Chapter 5!!

Bloody Hell!!

Disclaimer: I own all of the people in this story except the people that I don't own!! 

"Sakori what the fuck are you doing in there?" she asked all the while wondering how the drugged up griffon had managed to get herself into the book bag, and at that she wondered how the uber-hyper griffon had managed to stay in such a confined space for so long. 

"Nothing, nothing at all" Sakori snapped.

"G'ez Sakori you don't have to be so grumpy. It's not like I threw my book bag down the bus steps like I usually do in the morning." Sefpyro said mockingly. She had thrown the book bag and it's smuggled contents down the steps because of the icky purple residue still stuck on it.

"I know you didn't but I'm just in a farking bad mood damnit!!!" Sakori said while Sefpyro looked at her like this @.@;; and the like this #.# then *.* then n.n then u.u then ().() then {}.{} then [].[] all in a matter of moments.

"Ri-ght then ok… wtf are you doing in my bag?" Sefpyro asked once she had regained her stoic mask of indifference. She had much practice with the stoic look of indifference due to numerous years spent practicing torture. In times of stress this mask accompanied by an icy glare sent shivers down victims spines as they cowered in fear and awe.

"ummm actually I'm not sure…" she said as she slowly clambered out of her hiding spot. 

"Alrighty then." She said in an Ace Ventura Pet Detective voice. 

The two soon parted ways and Sefpyro trudged up the stairs to the bat cave – it wasn't really cool enough to be called a bat cave but it didn't have any other name so she called it bat cave anyway. She would continue to call it the bat cave till she found a better place to call the bat cave and she found a new name for it. 

She was looking for Jojo her trusty and entertaining best friend. Jojo was slightly taller than Sefpyro, but no one could ever tell because of Sefpyro's choice in footwear. Jojo had long brown dreads and a Rastafarian accent gained from all the time she spent in Jamaica, sitting on the beach listening to steel drums and Bob Marley albums. The twain were best friends and you could usually pick them out in a crowd by their black beanies with the Jojo The Panda Comics icon on the front and either a squirrel or a panda on the front. 

Suddenly Sammy popped up out of no where like those annoying pop-ups that are so innumerable that you have to restart the computer just to get away with your life a.k.a. spam. 

"Grrrrrrrr! You! You're the one who programmed my bonzi buddy to sing 'suck, suck, suck the chicken' for four hours then self-destruct! That damn purple gorilla took my entire tower with it! (A/N: I did that to her compy irl ! it was funny as all get out!! J/k !! it didn't really blow up her tower!!)!! Sammy advanced toward her. The small neko (cat @.@) not being a great physical threat but the glint in her eyes would mean horrendous pain to some unfortunate few.

"That's Right!! And now I'm summoning Vegeta to remove you from my presence!" she said as she telepathically called the miniature griffon to her. "I hope you like pinto beans! Because when he gets here I'm having him drag you to the poison room ( I believe some beings refer to these filthy areas as 'cafeterias' ) and force feed you pinto beans and bologna until you start liking it!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

" ahhhhhhhhh!!! No not PINTO BEANS!!! NEVER!!!! I'LL NEVER SURRENDER!!" Sammy screamed.

"Muhawahahahahahahaha!" Sefpyro screamed and started hysterically giggling and pointing at the cat.

Meanwhile Sammy had sobered a little and had steepled her fingers (claws) and begun shifting her eyes around the room in a paranoid manor.

"What the hell are you plotting!?!?"

"Fook U! I'll never tell." She said in a horrible Scottish accent.

"Fine then I'm confiscating your Inu Yasha Plushie !" she threatened.

"No! Not my Yasha!!!"

"Maybe if you tell me what you were plotting" she said, all the while knowing that she was gonna steal the plushie anyway.

"I will conquer the world! And then I will have all the RAMEN to myself! Mine all mine! And you will never have the ramen!" she announced in a fanatical fashion.

"o.O….And I thought the Seigfried and Roy flashback was bad! Man that was nothing and it's still only 7:45! Imagine what the Rest of the Day is gonna be like!" she mumbled more to herself than anyone else. ^__^

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FIVE MINUTES LATER

"Finally Vegeta! What took you so long?" she demanded.

"I cut myself on that stinkin' can." He stated indignantly.

"Uh!" she began grumbling something like 'damn griffons! You try to be nice and they just turn it against you……..'.

"Hey! We can hear every word you say! You EVIL BITCH!" they screamed in unison.

"Why, thank you! That's the nicest thing you said to me all day."


	6. new and improved samuri chopstick

Hey hey!

hmmm…maybe I should write some more, but then I was hey maybe not, then it was like how bored am I really and it was like a lot

so I went and was going to start writing this down on paper but I'm out of paper and I went and found paper but then I realized I had lost the thing where this was written down and my printer hates me and wishes my demise so I was like "no, I'm not even goin' there" so I found the file it was under and I started writing this dandy authoress' note that I had intended to make a disclaimer that I don't really even need since it's my story and I own everyone except the people I don't own….yey!! I turned it into a disclaimer, maybe now I'll actually write a chapter, but I guess you'll just have to keep reading to find out…

ne one really want me to write a chapter?????

Well I should have one soon cuz I went back and made some changes tonight and maybe I'll type more for it in a bit ^.^


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